Why are teens so stressed out?
Teens are more stressed today than ever before! Their brains are constantly on over drive and having to process an overwhelming amount of information.
They drink more coffee, eat more processed foods, interface with more technology, and are bombarded with media messages on how they should think, feel, dress and act. Between the demands of academic life, extracurricular activities, peer relationships, family relationships, and the daily grind of new technology, as well as the recent lockdowns of Covid-19, they are left feeling stressed, anxious, depressed, isolated and irritable. Sometimes, to alleviate all of the pressure they turn to unhealthy habits and addictions.
Teen stress can be split off into two groups, which are internal and external.
First there are external stressors, like parental and academic expectations, studying at home (due to Covid) peer pressure, relationship issues, homework, tests, SAT’s, social climate.
Then there are internal stressors: their own expectations, comparing themselves with others and negative thoughts about what’s happening. For example, they think, “I’m going to fail that test.” That thought stimulates an emotional circuit which then runs a physiological stress response to what their thinking.
A teen's brain, body and personality are going through rapid change. Teen hormones are raging and they're trying to figure out who they are and their place in the world.. The ruling question is “who am I” and sometimes the answer to that question changes daily. The whole experience can feel overwhelming at times and creates a lot of confusion and stress.
Unfortunately, when things get our of control, teens turn to alcohol drug, foods and other addictions, like shopping and social media to tune out and numb the emotional and psychological pain they are feeling. This only compound their problems even more creating physical and physiological unrest.
What’s important to remember is that much of what they are going through is a normal biological and psychological process that everyone goes through. Unfortunately many teens don't have the tools or resources to navigation through the sometimes rough waters of adolescence and can get lost in this phase in their life with no one to tun to for guidance and support. Parental frustrations heighten and teens feel like it's them against the world.
Commonly Treated Issues
They drink more coffee, eat more processed foods, interface with more technology, and are bombarded with media messages on how they should think, feel, dress and act. Between the demands of academic life, extracurricular activities, peer relationships, family relationships, and the daily grind of new technology, as well as the recent lockdowns of Covid-19, they are left feeling stressed, anxious, depressed, isolated and irritable. Sometimes, to alleviate all of the pressure they turn to unhealthy habits and addictions.
Teen stress can be split off into two groups, which are internal and external.
First there are external stressors, like parental and academic expectations, studying at home (due to Covid) peer pressure, relationship issues, homework, tests, SAT’s, social climate.
Then there are internal stressors: their own expectations, comparing themselves with others and negative thoughts about what’s happening. For example, they think, “I’m going to fail that test.” That thought stimulates an emotional circuit which then runs a physiological stress response to what their thinking.
A teen's brain, body and personality are going through rapid change. Teen hormones are raging and they're trying to figure out who they are and their place in the world.. The ruling question is “who am I” and sometimes the answer to that question changes daily. The whole experience can feel overwhelming at times and creates a lot of confusion and stress.
Unfortunately, when things get our of control, teens turn to alcohol drug, foods and other addictions, like shopping and social media to tune out and numb the emotional and psychological pain they are feeling. This only compound their problems even more creating physical and physiological unrest.
What’s important to remember is that much of what they are going through is a normal biological and psychological process that everyone goes through. Unfortunately many teens don't have the tools or resources to navigation through the sometimes rough waters of adolescence and can get lost in this phase in their life with no one to tun to for guidance and support. Parental frustrations heighten and teens feel like it's them against the world.
Commonly Treated Issues
- Perfectionism
- Anxiety and stress
- Performance anxiety
- ADD & ADHD
- Post Traumatic Stress
- Sexual Abuse
- Drug and alcohol abuse
Om for Teens: My approach to Teen Counseling
Often therapy begins with an exploration of feelings. Teens are encouraged to share their life story. The therapeutic relationship is built on trust and since every teen is different, it may take one teen a single session to reveal whats troubling him or her, while other teens may take longer to fee safe. Once safety and trust are established, teens usually open up and are willing to confide in their therapist.
I believe in taking a more holistic, yet grounded approach when working with teens. I bring in mindfulness meditation practice to help teens get in touch with what they are feeling and thinking, helping them relax, become more present, aware and in command of their reactions.
I believe that mindful meditation is at the heart of treatment.I also draw on traditional therapy techniques such as cognitive behavioral therapy helping teens change faulty thinking and updating limiting beliefs which may be causing some of their emotional unrest and negative attitudes and behaviors.
Studies at Oxford and Harvard show that benefits of mindful meditation are numerous. Meditation reduces stress, strengthens the immune system, it can improve relationships at home & at school, decreases aggressiveness and anxieties, improves behavior and attitude, the mind wanders less, improves focus, memory & concentration and promotes inner peace. Teens will feel more in control of their lives. Meditation helps teens be less reactive, and gives then a true sense of empowerment from within. Meditation helps slow things down a bit so teens can master their thoughts and feelings.
Even more importantly, meditative and relaxation practices may support a teen’s development into a self-confident individual, enhancing his or her ability to live and act with self-awareness and inner peace and compassion.
Through mindfulness, teens can learn that bad moods can be turn into habits, and by noticing a bad mood before it gets out of control, teens can more often experience positive, or at least neutral emotions.
I believe in taking a more holistic, yet grounded approach when working with teens. I bring in mindfulness meditation practice to help teens get in touch with what they are feeling and thinking, helping them relax, become more present, aware and in command of their reactions.
I believe that mindful meditation is at the heart of treatment.I also draw on traditional therapy techniques such as cognitive behavioral therapy helping teens change faulty thinking and updating limiting beliefs which may be causing some of their emotional unrest and negative attitudes and behaviors.
Studies at Oxford and Harvard show that benefits of mindful meditation are numerous. Meditation reduces stress, strengthens the immune system, it can improve relationships at home & at school, decreases aggressiveness and anxieties, improves behavior and attitude, the mind wanders less, improves focus, memory & concentration and promotes inner peace. Teens will feel more in control of their lives. Meditation helps teens be less reactive, and gives then a true sense of empowerment from within. Meditation helps slow things down a bit so teens can master their thoughts and feelings.
Even more importantly, meditative and relaxation practices may support a teen’s development into a self-confident individual, enhancing his or her ability to live and act with self-awareness and inner peace and compassion.
Through mindfulness, teens can learn that bad moods can be turn into habits, and by noticing a bad mood before it gets out of control, teens can more often experience positive, or at least neutral emotions.
Family and Parental Counseling
Some of the issues that teens are experiencing may stem from breakdown in communication in the family unit. When this is the case we need to see the entire family for several session to find the root of the problem and re-establish rapport. Sometimes making one significant change in the family system can usher healing in the rest of the system.
Parental counseling may also be needed to guide parents by giving them tools and instruction on how to best support themselves and their teenagers through the often tumultuous phase of adolescence.
Parental counseling may also be needed to guide parents by giving them tools and instruction on how to best support themselves and their teenagers through the often tumultuous phase of adolescence.
Confidentiality
Although parents have the right to know what is discussed in their teenager's counseling it is asked that parents respect their teenager's privacy in the counseling room. For teenagers counseling entails taking an emotional risk with the therapist. If teenagers know that what they says in the counseling room goes straight to the parents it inevitably has a censoring effect and they are much less likely to speak about issues that are private and important to them. Consequently, little progress is made.
There are three exceptions to the confidentiality rule:
1. The therapist considers the teenager to be at a high risk for suicide. In this case the therapist will break confidentiality and make sure that the teenager receives the help they need to keep them safe.
2. The therapist considers the teenager to be at a high risk for homicide. In this case, just like in suicide, the therapist will break confidentiality and take steps to assure the safety of the potential victim.
3. The teenager reports child abuse to the therapist. The therapist is a mandated reporter and is thus under a legal obligation to report child abuse to the child abuse hotline. If this happens the department of children and families will send an investigator to the home of the teenager to investigate the claim. The therapist has no influence over the outcome of the investigation.
There are three exceptions to the confidentiality rule:
1. The therapist considers the teenager to be at a high risk for suicide. In this case the therapist will break confidentiality and make sure that the teenager receives the help they need to keep them safe.
2. The therapist considers the teenager to be at a high risk for homicide. In this case, just like in suicide, the therapist will break confidentiality and take steps to assure the safety of the potential victim.
3. The teenager reports child abuse to the therapist. The therapist is a mandated reporter and is thus under a legal obligation to report child abuse to the child abuse hotline. If this happens the department of children and families will send an investigator to the home of the teenager to investigate the claim. The therapist has no influence over the outcome of the investigation.